Where Good Intentions Get Stuck: Highlights from Recent Conversations

A few recent conversations and situations have gotten me thinking about where good intentions break down. 

Say less. 

While AI can aid in certain communications (hello, toning down that email before sending it…), it can’t determine what a particular lawyer will feel comfortable saying in a live conversation with a client. During a recent coaching call, and ahead of an upcoming client dinner, a partner said, “They have to have other legal work. I want them to send it to us.” But, he didn’t know how to broach it. I suggested plainly, “why don’t you ask them?” Insert shocked look. 

In coaching lawyers through these kinds of conversations, it’s important to convey that clients - even if they have become friends - expect some amount of business talk when you connect. For the scenario outlined above, I suggested a pair of simple questions: “What legal work do you handle internally, and what kinds of projects do you typically outsource?” 

The partner began workshopping it to what felt most comfortable to him. Which was, “What legal work do you handle internally, and what else can you send to us?” Nope. Try again. These conversations are opportunities to learn. 

Be curious. With just these two questions, you could uncover 1) what their in-house structure looks like; 2) gaps that they want to fill; 3) processes that are (or aren’t) working; 4) what they send out (yes, what you might be able to do, but hush for now); 5) who they typically send it to, 6) what they like or dislike about that counsel; and so much more. 

The key being that you have to WAIT. Ask and wait. Sit back. Listen. 

Go into the conversation prepared with a question that you are comfortable asking. It could follow a simple “how are things at the office?” with, “You know, I’ve never asked you this, but…”

Fumbling the handoff.

Given that we’re heading into my favorite season (fall, yes, but also: football), I thought this was the perfect metaphor for dropped internal handoffs. 

An attorney finally gives cross-selling a shot, only for the colleague he introduces to his client to drop the ball. A new lateral reaches out to a partner who could actually help a client they are bringing in, but that partner never gets back to them. 

Both examples were shared with me on the same day last week. That tells me this is a real issue, and one that takes time to remedy. 

At the core of both is responsiveness and trust. 

Clients consistently report that responsiveness is the #1 thing that differentiates one lawyer from another. Getting back to them. Responding to say, “I’ve got it,” and following through. But, sometimes, that message gets lost internally. 

In associate trainings, I often speak about treating partners as clients. But maybe we need to be clearer with all attorneys: we need to be responsive to our colleagues. We need to be someone they can rely on. 

If you want to build your book of business. Build your origination credit, but not your workload, you have to first build trust. Respond when colleagues bring you an opportunity, because you sure as heck would want them to respond when your client needs help. 

Once trust is broken, it’s hard to earn it back. 

Shifting gears. 

I’ve been dealing with a calf injury lately. Note to self: sports are harder as adults. 

Driving home after a particularly tough PT session, I found myself with an additional complication: I drive a manual car, and shifting gears had suddenly become very painful. At one point, I had to put the car in neutral and use the parking brake when I stopped because it hurt too much to downshift.

Shifting gears isn’t relegated to driving. Adjusting when life throws something at us is part of our everyday lives—including our roles as advisors to our firms.

Sometimes, strategies need to shift. The plan that made sense at the beginning of the year may not fit where you are now or what you can realistically make happen during the rest of it. Priorities change. New opportunities emerge. Some activities simply don’t gain traction. And that’s okay. Our role is to recognize when a plan no longer fits and create space to adjust it. 

Sometimes that means influencing a mindset shift - from “I’m bothering this person” to recognizing that relevant, useful outreach provides value. Other times, it means making a small behavioral shift, such as putting 15 minutes on the calendar every Thursday morning for business development.

Changing gears doesn’t mean abandoning the destination. It means responding to the road in front of you so you can keep moving.